Missing the Sound

The last few weeks have been hard for a few specific reasons:

• I am an extroverted person, I love people. However, I am literally around people 24/7. I have not had any time or space to be the deep thinker that I am.
• I am horribly burnt out on teaching climbing class, which I do 4 times a day, six days a week. I did the math. I have taught the figure 8 follow through more than 1,000 times. Woof.
  
• I have utterly failed at having quiet time. Again, no space, no time. Waking up early? Not going to happen when I am this tired. So? I am sorry to admit that it doesn't usually happen.
  

Needless to say, that last one contributes the most to my apathy. It's not that I don't love camp or my girls or that I am not grateful to be here. I have just noticed it getting increasingly harder to put myself last, to give everything that I have because it always seems that I have nothing left to give.

Over the last few weeks, I have slowly sunk into an almost completely different person. Even my very favorite people, even on my days off, I found myself snapping at them and generally being very quiet. I was feeling almost heartbroken. And I could not for the life of me figure out why that was.

Why did my heart ache? Why did I feel so close to tears for seemingly no reason? Why did it almost feel like I had lost a loved one?

Oh. Because I kind of did.

Have you ever been gone for a really long time without getting to talk to your best friend? Have you ever found yourself missing the sound of their voice? Have you ever found yourself close to tears at the very thought of getting to hear them speak?

I had been so caught up in camp that I had forgotten the most important part of loving Jesus: listening. I realized that my heart felt so broken because I was missing something that I need more than air itself: the sound of my God's voice.

Can you hear it?