I just got my Wilderness First Responder certification. People keep asking me what the heck that is, and when I explain that it is learning how to do things like make leg splints out of sleeping mats and belts, they look at me funny and ask why I would ever need to know something like that. :)
Here is a bit about the last nine days of my life:
- The course was at MTSU, which is about 35 min from my house. There was no way I was going to drive there and back every day (for money and environmental reasons) so I have been sleeping in a rec center for the last week and a half. Yep. That's right. Sleeping bag, Therm-a-rest, on the floor in the middle of a conference room on the second floor of a giant rec center. Locker rooms for showers, a cooler in the back of the conference room for food.
- Twelve other people were doing the exact same thing^^.
- One night, there was a lock-in. There were a few hundred screaming high school-ers running around until 6 am. Poor planning. On my part or on theirs, I'm not exactly sure.
- I can make a traction splint (for a broken femur) out of a coffee cup, webbing, and a Therm-a-rest. I'm not going to pretend like I'm not proud of this fact.
- I got my visa applied for! It involved two trips to Nashville, a lot of running around during my one hour lunch break, and a few tears, but it is done. It's out of my hands now, and I have never been more relieved.
- Outdoor educators are interesting people.
- I love them.
- I think I get along with them so well because I am just as weird as they are. I am okay with this.
- For the first time in my life, my Chaco-wearing, being as naked as is culturally acceptable, and fruit and vegetable-eating habits were the norm, not the exception.
- Our little hodge-podge group of WFRs were, at one point, affectionately referred to as a group of dirty hippies. (by the administration at the rec center, telling us that if we were going to walk around the rec center, we needed to have shoes on. I was the dirty hippie guilty of this. Haha.)
- By the end of 9 days and about 200 hours of time together, one guy was still calling me the wrong name.
- The class involved (but was not limited to) questions like "can I go up under your shirt?" and "When did you have your last bowel movement?"
- It also involved one of my instructors standing in front of the class, holding both hands above his head and saying, "Imagine that this is a giant pair of testicles.."
- Pretty much every bone in my body has now been palpated by twenty three different people.
- At one point, I lost my contact case. I could have gone out and bought another... Instead, I gutted my floss container and used that for four days.
- I had no reason to be, but I was so nervous before my practical exam that I didn't eat until after it was over at two o'clock. I have never been nervous about a test in my life... I just wanted to do well SO badly... My brain has been turning about what this means for what I'm supposed to do with my life.
- At another point, I also lost my shampoo, conditioner and body wash. I realized it while on the way to shower after our night-rescue, after which I was covered in ticks, fake blood, and bruise-colored make-up... I rinsed off as best as I could and didn't think twice about it.
- The next day, someone lent me body wash... And I never bothered to track down shampoo and conditioner also, so I washed my hair with body wash for a few days.
- I definitely argued with a few people about what something meant in Spanish... and was wrong. Cool points for me. :)
It was a good 9 days. I would do it over again in a heart beat. No time to wish it weren't over though. I'm off to NC for camp on Tuesday. Errands, packing, etc...
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
I Found It...
... Or, it found me.
I know that I have said this to most of you, but this semester has been crazy. All in good ways, but crazy nonetheless. I realized today how very rarely we really take advantage of the community around us. I'll give you a few examples.
Take my bible study, for one. We were a group of five wall workers, meeting in my living room every week because we all "coincidentally" ended up there one night and decided to continue meeting. We had all been praying for community. And what did we all find? Community.
Take my friend Kaitlyn, for two. She came down to Murfreesboro today to have dinner with me and give me a bit of a break from the same 22 people I've been with for the last 72 hours. I have known her for two years, but never had a real conversation with her until a few days ago. I've been missing out. She's awesome.
The thing is, I have known all of these girls (except one) since I came to Belmont two years ago. And I spent a lot of the last two years praying for some women to learn and grow with. What I didn't realize is that that community was already there, I just needed to chase it.
And most of them? They had been praying for community too. And I know that they were like me and thinking that they just hadn't met the right women for that awesome kind of community God promised them. Ah, not true.
There we all were, sitting alone in our houses, praying for community, praying for some kind of magic to happen to make relationships appear and work. And the first time we ventured out of our lonely shells and met together and talked, and the first time we prayed together? Community formed. Who knew?
We knew each other all along. We just weren't investing in each other. Community doesn't happen over small talk at work and school. It can start there. But it isn't nurtured there. It is nurtured over cups of coffee, walks in the park, lunch, dinner, bible studies, mugs of tea on the front porch... It doesn't really matter what you do. It's the intentionality of inviting someone to sit and chat with you. That's where community comes from.
The common phrase from me and my friends lately has been, "why is it that we are just now hanging out?" and "why did it take me this long to figure out how cool you are?" Because we are all just discovering just how much community the Lord has surrounded us with, and how much we failed to take advantage of it. And I think there is incredible purpose in that.
I feel incredibly blessed to have found these relationships at all. And I'm even glad that I have to say goodbye to these new friendships for a while, because God has taught me so much about chasing people through that. It takes a long time and sometimes it sucks, but God has already placed good people in your life. You just have to hunt them down. And, you'll get to chase after some people sorely in need of love in the process :)
So, we are all heading our separate ways in what seems to be very poor timing. We all just found the community we have been longing for... Why would God give that to us, just to take it away again? Ah, because he is smarter than we are. He gave us a taste of true community, true relationships, and taught us how to find them. How to chase them. How to foster them. And now, he is sending us all over the world (literally) because we know what we are chasing and how to chase it.
I never really thought that community would just find me. But I also had no idea how to go about finding it myself. And I certainly had no idea that I have been sitting on a gold mine of people for the last two years.... These are the kinds of things that I am humbled when I learn, because God tears down my pride and reminds me of the basics. And I tend to think that most people already have this figured out and I'm the only one who is just realizing it... And maybe that's true. But I doubt it.
I am simply grateful to love a God who is patient enough to teach me these kinds of things, and doesn't seem to mind that it takes me upwards of two years to get the message. :)
I will rise and go to Jesus. He will embrace me in his arms. For in the arms of my dear Savior, there are ten thousand charms....
I know that I have said this to most of you, but this semester has been crazy. All in good ways, but crazy nonetheless. I realized today how very rarely we really take advantage of the community around us. I'll give you a few examples.
Take my bible study, for one. We were a group of five wall workers, meeting in my living room every week because we all "coincidentally" ended up there one night and decided to continue meeting. We had all been praying for community. And what did we all find? Community.
Take my friend Kaitlyn, for two. She came down to Murfreesboro today to have dinner with me and give me a bit of a break from the same 22 people I've been with for the last 72 hours. I have known her for two years, but never had a real conversation with her until a few days ago. I've been missing out. She's awesome.
The thing is, I have known all of these girls (except one) since I came to Belmont two years ago. And I spent a lot of the last two years praying for some women to learn and grow with. What I didn't realize is that that community was already there, I just needed to chase it.
And most of them? They had been praying for community too. And I know that they were like me and thinking that they just hadn't met the right women for that awesome kind of community God promised them. Ah, not true.
There we all were, sitting alone in our houses, praying for community, praying for some kind of magic to happen to make relationships appear and work. And the first time we ventured out of our lonely shells and met together and talked, and the first time we prayed together? Community formed. Who knew?
We knew each other all along. We just weren't investing in each other. Community doesn't happen over small talk at work and school. It can start there. But it isn't nurtured there. It is nurtured over cups of coffee, walks in the park, lunch, dinner, bible studies, mugs of tea on the front porch... It doesn't really matter what you do. It's the intentionality of inviting someone to sit and chat with you. That's where community comes from.
The common phrase from me and my friends lately has been, "why is it that we are just now hanging out?" and "why did it take me this long to figure out how cool you are?" Because we are all just discovering just how much community the Lord has surrounded us with, and how much we failed to take advantage of it. And I think there is incredible purpose in that.
I feel incredibly blessed to have found these relationships at all. And I'm even glad that I have to say goodbye to these new friendships for a while, because God has taught me so much about chasing people through that. It takes a long time and sometimes it sucks, but God has already placed good people in your life. You just have to hunt them down. And, you'll get to chase after some people sorely in need of love in the process :)
So, we are all heading our separate ways in what seems to be very poor timing. We all just found the community we have been longing for... Why would God give that to us, just to take it away again? Ah, because he is smarter than we are. He gave us a taste of true community, true relationships, and taught us how to find them. How to chase them. How to foster them. And now, he is sending us all over the world (literally) because we know what we are chasing and how to chase it.
I never really thought that community would just find me. But I also had no idea how to go about finding it myself. And I certainly had no idea that I have been sitting on a gold mine of people for the last two years.... These are the kinds of things that I am humbled when I learn, because God tears down my pride and reminds me of the basics. And I tend to think that most people already have this figured out and I'm the only one who is just realizing it... And maybe that's true. But I doubt it.
I am simply grateful to love a God who is patient enough to teach me these kinds of things, and doesn't seem to mind that it takes me upwards of two years to get the message. :)
I will rise and go to Jesus. He will embrace me in his arms. For in the arms of my dear Savior, there are ten thousand charms....
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Un Poco
I have begun, re-written, and abandoned three different ideas. One of my oft repeated phrases lately has been "my brain is in about ten different places." Well, right now is no exception. Thus, my inability to accurately put into words ANY of the amazing things that God is doing in my life right now. So, instead, I'm going to give a quick update on the insanity of my life. Issues of the heart will return at a later date. Probably tomorrow.
1. Three days ago, I was in Saint Louis. Yesterday and today I was camping and climbing with friends in Monteagle, TN. Tomorrow, I'm in Murfreesboro, TN for eight days learning how to save people's lives McGyver style. Then, I'm back in Nashville (or climbing...) for three days, and then I go to North Carolina for the summer. I could go into the craziness that continues after that, but I'll spare you.
2. The class I'm taking tomorrow is actually only 45 min from my house, but I refuse to drive for an hour and a half every day (especially since it involves leaving my house at 7 am.) when they're providing me with a floor to sleep on for free... So yes, I am basically moving myself 45 minutes away for 8 days.
3. I also happen to be the only one taking the class who is under 21. Meaning, at 5 o'clock every evening when we finish with class, whatever they decide to do for the evening will most likely not be compatible with my presence. Thus, I'm anticipating spending a lot of time in coffee shops for the next week.
4. I think I'll be grateful for the few days of peace and quiet before I head off to camp. Three months, ten eight-year-old girls and me... My job is to teach them how to do badass things like rock climbing and horseback riding, and about this guy I know named Jesus. It would be an understatement to say that I am excited.
5. One more to even off the list.... Last year I broke my ankle at Foster Falls. At Foster's last night? I ran into the park ranger who found me crutching along in the dark to my campsite. I was right then. He thinks I'm crazy. :)
1. Three days ago, I was in Saint Louis. Yesterday and today I was camping and climbing with friends in Monteagle, TN. Tomorrow, I'm in Murfreesboro, TN for eight days learning how to save people's lives McGyver style. Then, I'm back in Nashville (or climbing...) for three days, and then I go to North Carolina for the summer. I could go into the craziness that continues after that, but I'll spare you.
2. The class I'm taking tomorrow is actually only 45 min from my house, but I refuse to drive for an hour and a half every day (especially since it involves leaving my house at 7 am.) when they're providing me with a floor to sleep on for free... So yes, I am basically moving myself 45 minutes away for 8 days.
3. I also happen to be the only one taking the class who is under 21. Meaning, at 5 o'clock every evening when we finish with class, whatever they decide to do for the evening will most likely not be compatible with my presence. Thus, I'm anticipating spending a lot of time in coffee shops for the next week.
4. I think I'll be grateful for the few days of peace and quiet before I head off to camp. Three months, ten eight-year-old girls and me... My job is to teach them how to do badass things like rock climbing and horseback riding, and about this guy I know named Jesus. It would be an understatement to say that I am excited.
5. One more to even off the list.... Last year I broke my ankle at Foster Falls. At Foster's last night? I ran into the park ranger who found me crutching along in the dark to my campsite. I was right then. He thinks I'm crazy. :)
Friday, May 6, 2011
Shame and Grace: Tears for Both
God has a habit of taking small things and using them to turn me upside down. The latest being the visa that I need in order to study in Spain. I need several REALLY important documents before I can apply for my visa, which I need to do in the near future. But I never received the documents that were supposedly sent to my house, so it will be two weeks before I get another set.
A huge part of me wanted to panic. Wanted to stress out. Wanted to FREAK out. Simply because I am going to camp in a few weeks, and I can't wait that long to apply for my visa. And if, for some reason I can't get my visa, I can't study abroad, and then a whole domino effect happens that would leave me pretty bereft. At least, that's what was playing in my head during this whole process.
God had plans so much bigger than that, though.
He is not only exposing and tearing down my idol of control (which stems from that stubborn pride,) he is reminding me that this trip is not about me. (There's that pride again...)
I didn't realize that I was thinking about it that way. But I definitely was. I never once thought about God's plan for me, or what he wanted out of me next semester. I thought about all the things that I wanted to do, all the things I wanted to see, and everything that I hoped to gain from the trip, and maybe learn some cool things about God along the way.
I'm ashamed. I am ashamed that I claim to love this God of mine, and yet I can't even remember to think of him when it matters. So much so that my roommate came home to find me already in tears, and we spent more than two hours talking and crying at regular intervals.
I was moved to tears by my own sin, my own inadequacy, my great need for a Savior. For my inability to let go of my pride, even though it is the thing I pray for most. For my inability to love this God that so dearly loves me. But I was also moved to tears by grace.
Because my roommate wasn't going to come home. Her plan was to go out to dinner with her boyfriend. But she ended up telling him that she needed to go home. When he asked her why, all she could say was that she knew that she needed to. And what did she find when she came home? A roommate sorely in need of her company.
God knew. He has his hand all over this situation. He definitely broke through my stubborn pride, if only for the fleeting moment that it tends to be (though I pray otherwise...) And he knew that I would need a little help and encouragement in that. He knew that I would need to be reminded that, yes, it is a good thing to feel the weight of our sin, but not to despair in our failure. (Enter, Jesus.)
There isn't a thing that I can do to disappoint God. He is not ashamed of me and my sin. Because when he looks at me, he sees Christ. He sees a beloved daughter who is doing her best to chase after him with all her heart, all her strength, all her mind.
I am not condemned for my imperfections, just as I do not get credit for my successes.
So, yes, I have been looking at my trip to Spain with a poor heart. It could flip upside down and inside out, and there is no way that it is going to turn out the way I expect it to. And whatever happens will happen because it will bring the most glory to God to do so. And I can't wait. I have no idea what it is going to look like, but I know that it will be hard and beautiful and full of Jesus. And that I will not be the only person who comes out of it different. Which is so much better than any of the reasons I wanted to go in the first place. So, I don't have any more plans. I don't have any more expectations. The visa will come through or it won't.
Because it isn't about me. The trip. My life. None of it is for me. Thank God, because all I do is make a mess of things. It isn't about me. I don't know his plan, but I know that I will stop trying to bend his will to mine. And I know that pride is not a temporary struggle, so though it hurts, I pray that I would take the lesson in humility with grace. Because it is grace that I am chasing, and grace will keep those lessons coming.
All I am certain of is that God is good and merciful and kind. And so patient with this proud and undeserving, often oblivious daughter. And that is more than enough.
...For in the arms of my dear Savior, there are ten thousand charms.
A huge part of me wanted to panic. Wanted to stress out. Wanted to FREAK out. Simply because I am going to camp in a few weeks, and I can't wait that long to apply for my visa. And if, for some reason I can't get my visa, I can't study abroad, and then a whole domino effect happens that would leave me pretty bereft. At least, that's what was playing in my head during this whole process.
God had plans so much bigger than that, though.
He is not only exposing and tearing down my idol of control (which stems from that stubborn pride,) he is reminding me that this trip is not about me. (There's that pride again...)
I didn't realize that I was thinking about it that way. But I definitely was. I never once thought about God's plan for me, or what he wanted out of me next semester. I thought about all the things that I wanted to do, all the things I wanted to see, and everything that I hoped to gain from the trip, and maybe learn some cool things about God along the way.
I'm ashamed. I am ashamed that I claim to love this God of mine, and yet I can't even remember to think of him when it matters. So much so that my roommate came home to find me already in tears, and we spent more than two hours talking and crying at regular intervals.
I was moved to tears by my own sin, my own inadequacy, my great need for a Savior. For my inability to let go of my pride, even though it is the thing I pray for most. For my inability to love this God that so dearly loves me. But I was also moved to tears by grace.
Because my roommate wasn't going to come home. Her plan was to go out to dinner with her boyfriend. But she ended up telling him that she needed to go home. When he asked her why, all she could say was that she knew that she needed to. And what did she find when she came home? A roommate sorely in need of her company.
God knew. He has his hand all over this situation. He definitely broke through my stubborn pride, if only for the fleeting moment that it tends to be (though I pray otherwise...) And he knew that I would need a little help and encouragement in that. He knew that I would need to be reminded that, yes, it is a good thing to feel the weight of our sin, but not to despair in our failure. (Enter, Jesus.)
There isn't a thing that I can do to disappoint God. He is not ashamed of me and my sin. Because when he looks at me, he sees Christ. He sees a beloved daughter who is doing her best to chase after him with all her heart, all her strength, all her mind.
I am not condemned for my imperfections, just as I do not get credit for my successes.
So, yes, I have been looking at my trip to Spain with a poor heart. It could flip upside down and inside out, and there is no way that it is going to turn out the way I expect it to. And whatever happens will happen because it will bring the most glory to God to do so. And I can't wait. I have no idea what it is going to look like, but I know that it will be hard and beautiful and full of Jesus. And that I will not be the only person who comes out of it different. Which is so much better than any of the reasons I wanted to go in the first place. So, I don't have any more plans. I don't have any more expectations. The visa will come through or it won't.
Because it isn't about me. The trip. My life. None of it is for me. Thank God, because all I do is make a mess of things. It isn't about me. I don't know his plan, but I know that I will stop trying to bend his will to mine. And I know that pride is not a temporary struggle, so though it hurts, I pray that I would take the lesson in humility with grace. Because it is grace that I am chasing, and grace will keep those lessons coming.
All I am certain of is that God is good and merciful and kind. And so patient with this proud and undeserving, often oblivious daughter. And that is more than enough.
...For in the arms of my dear Savior, there are ten thousand charms.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Love That Will Not Let Me Go
We all want to be loved.
It is the deepest desire of our hearts.
If you disagree with me, you haven't really thought about it.
It is understandable, then, why we find it so difficult to be patient in waiting for love here on earth. We may have God's love, but we find ourselves impatient, anxious and uncomfortable because we do not have a person to love. Because everyone else seems to have a significant other of some kind, and we find ourselves with no one.
This has always been true for me. I want so badly to love and be loved. And yes, I love and am loved by God, but there has always been a part of me that wants to be jealous of my friends who are in relationships. I am constantly tempted to compare myself to the people around me, to be jealous of their hearts, their goodness, the way they love Jesus. Because it all seems better than what I have, what I can do, what I have been given. And it is because I am not as good as they are that I am too inadequate to be loved.
I have always known that none of this is true. But Satan can be quite convincing, and he knows that pride is my weakness, and he uses both to tempt me into jealousy. And I usually take the bait.
But God is so good.
That knowledge that has always been rattling around in my brain? It finally connected with my heart. It finally changed the way I feel. It finally changed the way I look at the world. It finally changed the way that I look at God and the people around me, and the way that I live my life.
My heart finally, honestly, understands what it means to be content in Christ. Being in a relationship? It is absolutely a blessing. It is biblical and wonderful and an incredible gift from God. But it is hard. It, just like any other gift, is not given to people because they reached some kind of spiritual marker. It is given to them to be steward over because it brings God glory to do so.
And singleness? It is an incredible blessing too. And for the first time in my life, when surrounded by people who are so clearly in love, I am not jealous. I am wholeheartedly happy for them. I do not find myself wondering why God won't bless me like that.
Because he already has. That's just it.
I am grateful that I'm not being asked to love another sinful, imperfect person. Someday, I may be called to do so, and I'll thank God for that too, should it be part of his plan for my life. But if it isn't? If I am like Paul, and am called to singleness for the rest of my life? Well, I'd be grateful for that too.
Because now, for the first time in my life, I love being single. Because I get to love no one but God. I get to be the only imperfect one in the relationship. The only mistakes committed are mine. His love for me never changes. He never snaps at me or is too tired to spend time with me.
Being called to that level of vulnerability with another person? That's an incredible calling in life. But it is also terrifying and painful. And what I think we so often fail to really grasp is how much of a blessing it is to be free of that calling, at least for part of your life.
To really experience perfect love, and to understand what it means for that to be enough. What a gift! To really understand that singleness is a gift, because you're free to simply be in love with a perfect God. Because you're free to simply enjoy him without having to share it with another imperfect soul.
Like I said, we were made to be loved. It is not at all wrong to want earthly love, especially as women of Christ. We were made for it... But we are not defined by it. And we fail to grasp the gift it is to be called to spend our lives loving Jesus, and Jesus alone. We waste it, dreaming of the day we will get to wear that white dress. We miss the best part of loving Jesus, because we are spending all our time dreaming of loving some imperfect person.
So, tell me. Are you missing it?
It is the deepest desire of our hearts.
If you disagree with me, you haven't really thought about it.
It is understandable, then, why we find it so difficult to be patient in waiting for love here on earth. We may have God's love, but we find ourselves impatient, anxious and uncomfortable because we do not have a person to love. Because everyone else seems to have a significant other of some kind, and we find ourselves with no one.
This has always been true for me. I want so badly to love and be loved. And yes, I love and am loved by God, but there has always been a part of me that wants to be jealous of my friends who are in relationships. I am constantly tempted to compare myself to the people around me, to be jealous of their hearts, their goodness, the way they love Jesus. Because it all seems better than what I have, what I can do, what I have been given. And it is because I am not as good as they are that I am too inadequate to be loved.
I have always known that none of this is true. But Satan can be quite convincing, and he knows that pride is my weakness, and he uses both to tempt me into jealousy. And I usually take the bait.
But God is so good.
That knowledge that has always been rattling around in my brain? It finally connected with my heart. It finally changed the way I feel. It finally changed the way I look at the world. It finally changed the way that I look at God and the people around me, and the way that I live my life.
My heart finally, honestly, understands what it means to be content in Christ. Being in a relationship? It is absolutely a blessing. It is biblical and wonderful and an incredible gift from God. But it is hard. It, just like any other gift, is not given to people because they reached some kind of spiritual marker. It is given to them to be steward over because it brings God glory to do so.
And singleness? It is an incredible blessing too. And for the first time in my life, when surrounded by people who are so clearly in love, I am not jealous. I am wholeheartedly happy for them. I do not find myself wondering why God won't bless me like that.
Because he already has. That's just it.
I am grateful that I'm not being asked to love another sinful, imperfect person. Someday, I may be called to do so, and I'll thank God for that too, should it be part of his plan for my life. But if it isn't? If I am like Paul, and am called to singleness for the rest of my life? Well, I'd be grateful for that too.
Because now, for the first time in my life, I love being single. Because I get to love no one but God. I get to be the only imperfect one in the relationship. The only mistakes committed are mine. His love for me never changes. He never snaps at me or is too tired to spend time with me.
Being called to that level of vulnerability with another person? That's an incredible calling in life. But it is also terrifying and painful. And what I think we so often fail to really grasp is how much of a blessing it is to be free of that calling, at least for part of your life.
To really experience perfect love, and to understand what it means for that to be enough. What a gift! To really understand that singleness is a gift, because you're free to simply be in love with a perfect God. Because you're free to simply enjoy him without having to share it with another imperfect soul.
Like I said, we were made to be loved. It is not at all wrong to want earthly love, especially as women of Christ. We were made for it... But we are not defined by it. And we fail to grasp the gift it is to be called to spend our lives loving Jesus, and Jesus alone. We waste it, dreaming of the day we will get to wear that white dress. We miss the best part of loving Jesus, because we are spending all our time dreaming of loving some imperfect person.
So, tell me. Are you missing it?
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Reasons for Joy
I am trapped between a lot of different feelings and situations at the moment. On one side, I am humbled and in awe of the incredible amount of blessings in my life, especially over the last semester. I am thankful for the last 4 months and how I've gotten to see not only myself change, but those around me as well. On the same note, I am so happy to have the next two weeks to really enjoy this chapter of my life. But at the same time, in about two weeks, this chapter of my life is going to come to a close.
Am I excited for what is next? Absolutely. More than I can possibly express. But am I also wholeheartedly sorry to see this part of my life come to an end? Of course. It has been so good, and I have seen and learned so much of God. This season has changed me more than I can possibly say. So yes, I am heartbroken to say goodbye to something so, so, so good. But, I currently find myself giving too much attention to the sorrow of goodbyes, and not nearly enough to the excitement and anticipation of what God is going to do in my life next. So, here are some reasons that I have to be joyful and excited.
1. Roadtrip to Chicago. Hopefully some friends will be able to go with me. Otherwise, me and mama Tucker will be road tripping to Chi-town in the next few weeks to apply for my visa.
2. I get to work as a camp counselor at Merri-Mac this summer. It's in North Carolina, and is beautiful. I get to teach horseback riding lessons, rock climbing, and be a counselor for a cabin of girls. I get to spend all summer teaching them about how much, how incredibly Jesus loves them. Amen.
3. I get to spend four months in Spain. Not to mention gallivanting around the rest of Europe. I get to see some of the places that I have been dreaming about. Pure excitement.
4. Wilderness First Responder is in 20 days. I get to take an 8 day class that will teach me how to keep someone alive, MacGyver style.
5. When I come back in January, I am not going to be the same person that I am now. In the last four months, God has changed me so much. I believe it was in preparation for the next nine. When I come back in January, I will have spent an entire summer giving myself and my heart away in community and teaching about Jesus. I will have traveled a world that I have never seen, and lived in a culture I've never experienced. I'll have been removed from everything familiar that I have ever known, from language to religion to culture. I will not be the same girl that I am now. And I'm so excited to see the kind of person that God is going to make me through all of that. He is going to move in BIG ways, I can feel it. And I cannot wait to be part of it.
I'm going to resist the urge to keep typing. Mainly because I have way too much going on in my heart to express, and it wouldn't make sense anyway. And I know that I need to take a moment to embrace all the reasons God has given me to rejoice.
For in the arms of my dear Savior, there are ten thousand charms.
Am I excited for what is next? Absolutely. More than I can possibly express. But am I also wholeheartedly sorry to see this part of my life come to an end? Of course. It has been so good, and I have seen and learned so much of God. This season has changed me more than I can possibly say. So yes, I am heartbroken to say goodbye to something so, so, so good. But, I currently find myself giving too much attention to the sorrow of goodbyes, and not nearly enough to the excitement and anticipation of what God is going to do in my life next. So, here are some reasons that I have to be joyful and excited.
1. Roadtrip to Chicago. Hopefully some friends will be able to go with me. Otherwise, me and mama Tucker will be road tripping to Chi-town in the next few weeks to apply for my visa.
2. I get to work as a camp counselor at Merri-Mac this summer. It's in North Carolina, and is beautiful. I get to teach horseback riding lessons, rock climbing, and be a counselor for a cabin of girls. I get to spend all summer teaching them about how much, how incredibly Jesus loves them. Amen.
3. I get to spend four months in Spain. Not to mention gallivanting around the rest of Europe. I get to see some of the places that I have been dreaming about. Pure excitement.
4. Wilderness First Responder is in 20 days. I get to take an 8 day class that will teach me how to keep someone alive, MacGyver style.
5. When I come back in January, I am not going to be the same person that I am now. In the last four months, God has changed me so much. I believe it was in preparation for the next nine. When I come back in January, I will have spent an entire summer giving myself and my heart away in community and teaching about Jesus. I will have traveled a world that I have never seen, and lived in a culture I've never experienced. I'll have been removed from everything familiar that I have ever known, from language to religion to culture. I will not be the same girl that I am now. And I'm so excited to see the kind of person that God is going to make me through all of that. He is going to move in BIG ways, I can feel it. And I cannot wait to be part of it.
I'm going to resist the urge to keep typing. Mainly because I have way too much going on in my heart to express, and it wouldn't make sense anyway. And I know that I need to take a moment to embrace all the reasons God has given me to rejoice.
For in the arms of my dear Savior, there are ten thousand charms.
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