Pine-ing

So, running away didn't work out quite like I wanted it to this weekend. But it turned out to be exactly what I needed, anyway. God knows better than I do... story of my life. :) 

My plan was to not have a plan. To get in my car and just drive until I didn't feel like driving anymore, and pitching my hammock and hanging out for a few days. Well, come Friday night, it was snowing and bitterly cold. Not great camping weather. Nor is my car reliable enough to take trekking in any kind of cold precipitation. 

So, I ended up at home. I didn't tell a soul that I was there. As much as I love making the rounds when I'm home, that was not what my soul needed this weekend. So I turned off my phone and took advantage of the quiet (though not at all wild) place I found myself. 

My weekend looked like this:

Homemade pasta. I've never made it before. Turns out it is really great therapy. It's just eggs and flour, so it's super easy. You end up kneading the dough like bread but without waiting for yeast. Perfect for my instant-gratification-seeking soul. 

I spent all morning yesterday kneading pasta dough, and cutting it into really thin strips. It was mindless and repetitive, and great for thinking. And then I enjoyed an entirely hand-made bowl of delicious pasta and tomato sauce. 

I spent the afternoon putting together the fire pit we got my mom for Christmas, and gathering up all the loose pine from the back yard. My mom burns the rest of the wood in the fireplace, but you can't burn pine inside because the sap can start chimney fires. So, I gathered it all up and sat next to the fire pit for a good two hours last night, reading my bible and writing in my journal. Pine gives off that really great smell, too. 

It was frigid and windy, and I was all bundled up. And after a bit the ink in my pen kept freezing, so I just sat really close to the fire and watched it burn for a few hours. Not one of my favorite wild places, but I did get to sit next to a fire. I'll take it. 

I woke up this morning and sat at the table in the dining room, drinking coffee and reading my Bible. And finally, after 24 hours of complete silence and stillness, my heart was quiet enough to have the conversation with God about the things that drove me to run away in the first place.

So, it was a good weekend. Not at all what I expected it to be, but exactly what I needed it to be. Of course. 

God is gracious and good, and my soul feels rested and rejuvenated. It isn't particularly happy at the moment, but it is ready to follow where God is leading me. To stillness, and some hardship, the terror of softening my heart to be pursued...and some really great ministry, too.

Back to Nashville I go.