Someday, I will actually be able to write about all the things the Lord is doing in my life, in my wordy, all-over-the-place way as usual. That day is not today. Today is another rough update of camp life. I'm not sure if an apology or a "you're welcome," is in order.
> Today was my day off. It was Christmas at camp, so we got to sleep in for an extra hour (only had to wake up at 8 am. Yay!) and my campers brought me breakfast in bed. Then, I drove for an hour and met Kenny in Brevard, NC, where we climbed at Looking Glass for the day. Only downside: I totally chickened out of leading any of the three pitches we climbed today. Slab climbing is not my forte, and the eyebrows totally freaked me out. It's just the truth...On the upside, the climb was really fun and we got some really great pizza afterwards. Success.
> It felt weird to go climbing with Kenny, but then drive back to camp. I felt like I should be driving back to my little house in Nashville. So much so that I called my roommate and told her that I missed her. I get to see her in a little over two weeks!
> Another upside to the day: It felt good to just see someone from back home. And to spend the day with someone who wasn't from camp. It was just a nice change of pace, even if I did spend most of the day talking about camp anyway.
> That band-aid tan on my arm? Roasted. It is the only part of my body (besides my cheeks) that burned today. So now, instead of a square of white on my arm, there is a square of red. Ridiculous.
> There is coffee shop in Black Mountain that everyone goes to called the Drip. It is awesome. Major downfall? It closes at 9:30 every night. Totally lame.
> I realized today that I am actually sad that I won't be around the Beaman this semester. Literally, I am sad about it. I will miss my friends there, my job there, everything. But, spring semester will be here entirely too soon, and then I'll be wishing I could leave the Beaman again, I am sure.
> I spent $1,600 today. That's right. It went to a plane ticket to Madrid, and a train pass for 15 days. Doesn't seem like that's $1,600 worth of goods does it?
> I keep losing things. My phone charger, my car charger for my phone, the USB cord for my camera, my Chacos, my waterbottle... I always find them, but they wander off all the time... What the heck?
>I get my last batch of girls on Sunday. Oh, my, goodness. I have a strange mixture of excitement and dread. Mostly excitement though.
> I will be bringing kayaking into the OP arsenal. Get ready.
> Yesterday was a counselor fail. Me and my co-counselor were supposed to be back in our cabin at 10 pm. We didn't show up until 10:40. Oops. We were even hanging out in the same place, we just didn't even think about the fact that by 10 pm no one would be watching our cabin anymore. Much thanks to the counselors next door for watching the girls for us while we failed at life.
> More days than not, I find myself asking the question, "Lord, what the heck are you doing?" I never get an answer, but for some reason it makes me feel better to ask it. One thing I do know, though, is that it is fantastic.
> The Lord is still teaching me, everyday, about relationships. Every time I think there can't be more for me to learn, there is. Then again, I think relationships are things that you never really figure out all the way.
> Yesterday I got to go on a waterskiing trip. Can I waterski? Nope. Never tried. But did I get to spend the afternoon sitting on a boat, swimming, and looking at the mountains surrounding the lake? Yes. Total success, even if I didn't get to try waterskiing.
> Sometimes I think other people think my life is way more awesome than it really is.
> One of the trends of my life lately has been this: Don't feed the fire. More on this later.
> I love camp. Sometimes I have to remind myself of this when I am exhausted and want life to be about me for a while. Tomorrow, I can totally handle you. Well, me and Jesus can handle you, anyway.
Hasta Luego!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Time Warp
There are three weeks of camp left. I have three more days off, two more nights off, and then... done. Crazy. Three weeks! In two more Saturdays, I'll be saying goodbye to Merri-Mac. And hello, Spain... In light of that, here is a recap of my past few days.
1. Today was AWESOME. They didn't put me in any classes, so I went to the dock and helped teach swimming, diving and kayaking all day. Which involved talking to some of my best friends here, sitting in the sunshine, swimming, and practicing my kayaking skills.
2. Today, my friend Getta wanted to see my hand roll. (That's where you flip your kayak over with just your hands, not using the paddle.) I've only done it twice, and then couldn't do it again, so I was a bit nervous about trying it. Messing up involves a lot of water up your nose. My co-counselor Laura then yells, "Ah, I've seen you do it!" yanks my paddle out of my hands and flips my kayak over, cutting off my yell of, "Wait, Laura!" in a mouthful of water. Much to my delight, however, I rolled right back out of the water with no problem. And then Getta said, "Sorry, Ally, I didn't see it!" and then Laura rolls me right back over before I have any idea what's happening. Another successful roll for me, another dirty look for Laura.
3. The longer camp goes on, the more important communication becomes. Most importantly because it becomes harder to give others the benefit of the doubt when you are exhausted, and communication just makes things so much easier for everyone.
4. I have to cover my tattoo while I'm on camp property (it makes me a bad influence, apparently... I guess 14 year olds going home telling their parents they want a tattoo like their counselor is probably not the best thing.) Thus, I have a sweet band-aid tattoo on the inside of my forearm.
5. Lake Doris is officially disgusting. The fish have begun to die, and there are dead tadpoles floating all over the lake. Sick. Does that stop me from kayaking and swimming, which involves water in the mouth sometimes? Absolutely not.
6. I have read these books at camp so far: The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, (started Mockingjay today,) Mere Christianity, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Pursuit of God, and my Utmost for His Highest. Success.
7. The amount of people here who LOVE Jesus is astounding. And I mean LOVE. It is so wonderful. They have taught me so much about the way people are supposed to love each other, and the way we are supposed to love Christ. I am so grateful for my sweet friends here.
8. Three weeks feels like a very long time, and like absolutely no time at all. It is becoming harder, and infinitely more important, for me to be grateful for where I am, when I am.
9. Spain in 34 days. I have exactly two weeks to get myself to Saint Louis, see all my friends, and get packed before I leave.
10. After camp? Here is the loose plan: Getta and I are leaving the morning camp is out, hanging out at Natalie's house in Black Mountain, NC. Then we are going to SC to see a friend of Getta's for a day (Natalie is coming with us, I think) and then coming back to BM to see one of Getta's campers. Then, to Nashville for a few days. Then to Saint Louis for a week. Then to Chicago to pick up my visa, then back to Saint Louis where both Getta and I will fly out from. (Going our separate ways at this point.) So busy. So fun.
11. I used my WFR skills today. Granted, we were in the middle of a park in Black Mountain, NC. But one of my campers slipped and fell and hit the cement pretty hard. I heard her hit the ground, and when I turned to look, she wasn't moving. At all. My heart stopped. I and my co-counselor went into high gear. Fifteen minutes, one patient exam, and a few soothing words later, all was well. She has some bad bruises on the inside of her elbow, but nothing broken... It took about thirty minutes before my heart rate came down, though.
12. Tomorrow is my birthday. (and my mom's.) Goodbye, teenage years. Hello, twenties. It feels weird. I am excited to be spending it at camp, but am a bit sad that I can't go to the zoo with my mom like we usually do.
Happy 50th birthday, mama!
1. Today was AWESOME. They didn't put me in any classes, so I went to the dock and helped teach swimming, diving and kayaking all day. Which involved talking to some of my best friends here, sitting in the sunshine, swimming, and practicing my kayaking skills.
2. Today, my friend Getta wanted to see my hand roll. (That's where you flip your kayak over with just your hands, not using the paddle.) I've only done it twice, and then couldn't do it again, so I was a bit nervous about trying it. Messing up involves a lot of water up your nose. My co-counselor Laura then yells, "Ah, I've seen you do it!" yanks my paddle out of my hands and flips my kayak over, cutting off my yell of, "Wait, Laura!" in a mouthful of water. Much to my delight, however, I rolled right back out of the water with no problem. And then Getta said, "Sorry, Ally, I didn't see it!" and then Laura rolls me right back over before I have any idea what's happening. Another successful roll for me, another dirty look for Laura.
3. The longer camp goes on, the more important communication becomes. Most importantly because it becomes harder to give others the benefit of the doubt when you are exhausted, and communication just makes things so much easier for everyone.
4. I have to cover my tattoo while I'm on camp property (it makes me a bad influence, apparently... I guess 14 year olds going home telling their parents they want a tattoo like their counselor is probably not the best thing.) Thus, I have a sweet band-aid tattoo on the inside of my forearm.
5. Lake Doris is officially disgusting. The fish have begun to die, and there are dead tadpoles floating all over the lake. Sick. Does that stop me from kayaking and swimming, which involves water in the mouth sometimes? Absolutely not.
6. I have read these books at camp so far: The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, (started Mockingjay today,) Mere Christianity, The Picture of Dorian Gray, The Pursuit of God, and my Utmost for His Highest. Success.
7. The amount of people here who LOVE Jesus is astounding. And I mean LOVE. It is so wonderful. They have taught me so much about the way people are supposed to love each other, and the way we are supposed to love Christ. I am so grateful for my sweet friends here.
8. Three weeks feels like a very long time, and like absolutely no time at all. It is becoming harder, and infinitely more important, for me to be grateful for where I am, when I am.
9. Spain in 34 days. I have exactly two weeks to get myself to Saint Louis, see all my friends, and get packed before I leave.
10. After camp? Here is the loose plan: Getta and I are leaving the morning camp is out, hanging out at Natalie's house in Black Mountain, NC. Then we are going to SC to see a friend of Getta's for a day (Natalie is coming with us, I think) and then coming back to BM to see one of Getta's campers. Then, to Nashville for a few days. Then to Saint Louis for a week. Then to Chicago to pick up my visa, then back to Saint Louis where both Getta and I will fly out from. (Going our separate ways at this point.) So busy. So fun.
11. I used my WFR skills today. Granted, we were in the middle of a park in Black Mountain, NC. But one of my campers slipped and fell and hit the cement pretty hard. I heard her hit the ground, and when I turned to look, she wasn't moving. At all. My heart stopped. I and my co-counselor went into high gear. Fifteen minutes, one patient exam, and a few soothing words later, all was well. She has some bad bruises on the inside of her elbow, but nothing broken... It took about thirty minutes before my heart rate came down, though.
12. Tomorrow is my birthday. (and my mom's.) Goodbye, teenage years. Hello, twenties. It feels weird. I am excited to be spending it at camp, but am a bit sad that I can't go to the zoo with my mom like we usually do.
Happy 50th birthday, mama!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Fried
See, by the time I get to my day off, I am so tired that I can barely think enough to write anything worthwhile. I have so much to say, and no brain power left to say it coherently. Life musings may have to wait until I get home.... I am substituting with another brief update of my life here:
> I learned how to do my hand roll in kayaking. That means no paddle. Just your hands and (the most important part,) your hips. Obsession complete. I may be able to go kayaking with a friend from my Wilderness First Responder class before I leave for Spain. Success.
> I literally cannot believe that I have been here for almost seven weeks. And that I have just over three weeks left. The thought both makes me incredibly excited and incredibly sad. I am trying to do what is so often difficult for me: to enjoy where I am, when I am.
> Over the last few weeks, I have noticed myself getting more and more selfish. It is becoming harder and harder to spend my free time with my campers, instead of sleeping or reading or being by myself. I literally sleep in the same room as my campers, so alone-time is almost non-existent. It is also becoming harder and harder to put my co-counselors before myself, and to think of how tired they must be before I consider how tired I am. We have definitely reached the part of the summer where we find the end of ourselves, and we throw in the towel completely, or we give in and let Jesus be our strength for us.
> On the topic of strength: I was struggling a bit this morning when I found a letter in my laptop bag that a friend wrote me at the end of the school year. I re-read it, and was so humbly reminded that I am often too strong for my own good, and that weakness is where God does the most in us. And through us. So this point of exhaustion and the incredible temptation to check out and stop giving my campers all I've got? It is beautiful, because it is here that I will stop getting in the way and Jesus will shine the brightest.
> I am incredibly blessed by my friends here. I have learned so much about what godly men and women look like, and how they are meant to love each other. This is so very clearly where I was meant to be this summer.
> The blue ridge mountains are beautiful, and the view from on top of Table Rock is one of my favorites. I also love Asheville. If I do not live in Boulder, I'll probably live in Asheville. If I stay in the U.S. at all...
> My tire exploded last week. Literally, exploded. Luckily, Moe and Jason came along and put my spare on for me, and I managed to get a new (and by new I mean used) tire for $75. Not too shabby.
> The one thing I miss most is my little house in Nashville. I miss my room (which isn't currently there anymore, but in my mind it still is) and my chair, with all my books. I miss curling up in my chair and reading until I fall asleep. I miss my roommate and jumping on her bed and talking until we fall asleep. I miss cooking and baking and having people over. I miss my favorite coffee shop, and buying groceries and going on climbing adventures with my dearest friends. I love it here, but these are a few of my favorite things...
> The hardest part of camp has become teaching classes... I loved it at first, but now I have done the same thing at least 100 times. And I am teaching little kids about climbing when I'm used to teaching college kids. There are crazy safety rules. I struggle with not being able to teach the way I want to, and having to teach all the time without actually getting to do any climbing myself. It may be a bit selfish, but it makes it hard when you have to spend ten weeks talking about how great climbing is, without ever getting to do it.
> There is more that I will tell you about later, but my brain is currently fried...
> I learned how to do my hand roll in kayaking. That means no paddle. Just your hands and (the most important part,) your hips. Obsession complete. I may be able to go kayaking with a friend from my Wilderness First Responder class before I leave for Spain. Success.
> I literally cannot believe that I have been here for almost seven weeks. And that I have just over three weeks left. The thought both makes me incredibly excited and incredibly sad. I am trying to do what is so often difficult for me: to enjoy where I am, when I am.
> Over the last few weeks, I have noticed myself getting more and more selfish. It is becoming harder and harder to spend my free time with my campers, instead of sleeping or reading or being by myself. I literally sleep in the same room as my campers, so alone-time is almost non-existent. It is also becoming harder and harder to put my co-counselors before myself, and to think of how tired they must be before I consider how tired I am. We have definitely reached the part of the summer where we find the end of ourselves, and we throw in the towel completely, or we give in and let Jesus be our strength for us.
> On the topic of strength: I was struggling a bit this morning when I found a letter in my laptop bag that a friend wrote me at the end of the school year. I re-read it, and was so humbly reminded that I am often too strong for my own good, and that weakness is where God does the most in us. And through us. So this point of exhaustion and the incredible temptation to check out and stop giving my campers all I've got? It is beautiful, because it is here that I will stop getting in the way and Jesus will shine the brightest.
> I am incredibly blessed by my friends here. I have learned so much about what godly men and women look like, and how they are meant to love each other. This is so very clearly where I was meant to be this summer.
> The blue ridge mountains are beautiful, and the view from on top of Table Rock is one of my favorites. I also love Asheville. If I do not live in Boulder, I'll probably live in Asheville. If I stay in the U.S. at all...
> My tire exploded last week. Literally, exploded. Luckily, Moe and Jason came along and put my spare on for me, and I managed to get a new (and by new I mean used) tire for $75. Not too shabby.
> The one thing I miss most is my little house in Nashville. I miss my room (which isn't currently there anymore, but in my mind it still is) and my chair, with all my books. I miss curling up in my chair and reading until I fall asleep. I miss my roommate and jumping on her bed and talking until we fall asleep. I miss cooking and baking and having people over. I miss my favorite coffee shop, and buying groceries and going on climbing adventures with my dearest friends. I love it here, but these are a few of my favorite things...
> The hardest part of camp has become teaching classes... I loved it at first, but now I have done the same thing at least 100 times. And I am teaching little kids about climbing when I'm used to teaching college kids. There are crazy safety rules. I struggle with not being able to teach the way I want to, and having to teach all the time without actually getting to do any climbing myself. It may be a bit selfish, but it makes it hard when you have to spend ten weeks talking about how great climbing is, without ever getting to do it.
> There is more that I will tell you about later, but my brain is currently fried...
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