Sunday, May 6, 2012

Don't Read the Bible

Live the Bible.

I love my church. So much. I have been church shopping since I moved to Nashville almost 3 years ago. Every Sunday was a different church, different group of people. And every Sunday, God said, "Not here."   And then I came back from Spain, and the first Sunday I was in Nashville, I found it. Or rather, it found me. It felt like home, and finally, finally, finally, God uttered the words I had been desperate to hear for two and a half years.

"This is where I want you, Beloved."

For so many reasons. One being, the sermon today was on James chapter 1. About not being people who read the bible, but people who live the bible. Someone who steps through the words on the page and into the heart of the God who loves them.

This spoke so dearly to my heart, because it is something God has been teaching me for a while now. About how to heed the sound of his voice, how to throw up my hands and say "I believe this is what you're asking of me, so I'm going to go with it. And if it's not and I'm wrong, then I need you to come get me." Because I know the sound of my God's voice. But I get caught up in asking questions. I am guilty of doubt, fear, and timidity. I often look for reasons to say "No."

God is breaking this in me. He is teaching me to look for reasons to say "Yes." To heed the sound of his voice, to follow him where he leads me, and trust that when I do get it wrong and I mess it up (because I will, and I do,) he is still big and sovereign and he will come and rescue me. He will not let me wander off too far.

I love this. And it so wonderfully terrifies me.

There has been a deep ache in my heart for a while now. God deepened that ache today.

There has been a deep feeling of purpose. That I am being prepared for something. God deepened that feeling today.

There has been a constant calling in me, to be willing to drop everything and go. "But not yet," God always said.

There have been a handful of verses laid on my heart lately.

"Let us love not in words, but in action and in truth." 1 John 3:18

"Don't just listen to God's word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don't obey it, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it." James 1:22-25

"He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord's favor has come, and with it, the day of God's anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair." Isaiah 61:1-3

"For I have come to set the world on fire." Luke 12:49

"Then I heard the Lord asking, 'Whom should I send as a messenger to these people? Who will go for us?' and I said, 'Here I am. Send me.'" Isaiah 6:8

What happens when we stop reading the bible, and we start living it? When they stop being words on a page, and you see beyond just ink on paper? When you see instead the wise, loving face of the God who has set you free?

I've no idea what God is doing in my life. And I love it. I have the vague sense that I will be called to drop everything and go to the far reaches of the world, at some point. I don't know when that will be, or what that even really means. What I do know is that he is very much teaching me to go when he says,"Go," and trust him to provide for me. All I know is that he has laid these verses heavily on my heart, and there is a deep stirring in my soul.

He is so unbelievably good. 

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