Captivatingly Dangerous

Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge is one of those books that almost every Christian woman has read or will read at some point in her life. Everyone loves it. I read it a few years ago and loved it. So, when my group of girl friends started a Bible study looking at what it means to truly be women wholeheartedly in love with God, Captivating seemed a good choice. We had gone through Ruth and a few other assorted Bible passages, and when one of the girls suggested Captivating, it seemed logical.

So I read it again. But this time around I see it not as truth, but as thoroughly, captivatingly dangerous.

Don't get me wrong. The book makes some incredible points. I love that it encourages women to honestly look at our hearts, to cherish the things that make us distinctly feminine. There is incredible joy and grace in the mysteriousness of a woman's heart. We are purposefully different than men, and that is something that should be nourished, not squashed.

However, the book as a whole is dangerous if you aren't careful. Because not once does it encourage you to find your contentment in God. It reads almost like a chick-flick (not surprising, since almost every example is a movie quote of some kind.) It encourages women to look at and cherish their hearts, but not in a biblical way. Not in a way that drives them to know God as their lover.

It talks about women universally wanting to be an irreplaceable part of an adventure, wanting to be romanced, and wanting to have Beauty to unveil. But not once does the book drive the reader to the foot of the cross, where we are part of the greatest adventure there ever was, where we are romanced every second of every day in ways men will never be able to romance us, and where we are both beautiful and in the presence of the Creator of Beauty.

It encourages women to look at themselves to learn what God is like. It encourages them to look at movies and popular culture to determine the deepest desires of their hearts. But where is the encouragement to read scripture? That is where you will truly find God, where you will truly be filled and satisfied and content. Movies don't tell me who God is, or what he created me to desire. They tell me what the world says I should desire.

What bothers me most is the skewed portrait of God they present. In one simple statement, they say God is a god that needs us, is vulnerable to us, and yearns to be desired by us. (p. 29) Except, that's not true. He doesn't need us at all. He is surrounded by the Trinity, aka, he has community and perfect love in them. He is passionately and perfectly loved, all the time. He doesn't need my half-hearted attempts to love him. I satisfy nothing in him, because he is lacking in nothing. Does he want me to love him? Of course. He is the father in the story of the Prodigal Son. He rejoices abundantly when I turn to him. He mourns when I walk away... But he is lacking in nothing when I do.

I love what John and Stasi were trying to do in this book. Their hearts were so clearly in the right place. I think the intent was really good, and I think it is a great book and well worth reading. But my encouragement is the same as with anything else: don't just assume that anything other than scripture is truth. Read it critically, and be careful.