My Cup Overflows

Kaley, Me, Sam, and Jacqui hiking out of Foster Falls, where we were climbing to celebrate Kaley's 18th birthday.

I can only begin to describe how very blessed I have been these last few weeks. Most significantly by the three women in that picture. I never would have guessed it, and I never could have imagined the amount of grace I would see in their lives. And the amount of grace that they would bring to mine. I am humbled by the amazing love I have been blessed with from the most unexpected of places.

The phrase "cup overflowing," has been present in our conversations recently. I love that it is, because it reminds me of an analogy I heard a couple of years ago:

God gave me the most beautiful of cups. Ceramic, handcrafted, one of a kind. It is perfectly shaped to fit me, perfectly sculpted to hold whatever I choose to fill it with. God smiles from ear to ear with anticipation, hoping that I will choose to use my beautiful gift to hold love. To hold onto Him.

But that's not what I do at all. I take one look at that cup and throw it to the ground. I can almost see the agony in God's eyes as my cup shatters into a hundred pieces on the floor. I turn away and don't look back.

But it isn't long before I come back to gather up the pieces of my cup. I've noticed that something is missing. Something is wrong with my innermost being. I put all the pieces back together, patch it so that it looks unbroken. But as soon as I try and fill it with water, it leaks. No matter what I try to do, my cup is still hopelessly broken. I have reached the end of myself and do the only thing left to do: fall to my knees and hold my brokenness before me.

And with nothing more than the sweetest smile I've ever seen, God takes my broken cup from me. He doesn't patch it. He doesn't give me a new one. He holds the pieces in his hands, and water overflows.

Mild Heart Attack

My mom sent me an email today that it may be a concern to get my scholarship transferred to pay for the study abroad. Translation: I may not be able to afford to go to Spain. Hence, the heart attack.

I scowled. I yelled. I hit things. My life is over! (None of these things are actually true, but whatever.)

But seriously. Major issue. However, after I spoke to Sarah Beth (she studied in Ireland over xmas break) I felt better. I was almost certain that studying abroad went through Belmont, which means tuition doesn't change to another school or anything like that, and she said that that is right. So, basically, all the documents for financial aid say I'm still studying at Belmont, because I technically am, I just happen to be doing it through a school in Spain.

So, long story short, I was annoyed all day today because there was a hint of doubt about whether I was actually going to be able to go or not. But, that hint of doubt is all but gone. I'm 99% sure it'll be fine. And I choose not to worry about it.

None of it is really in my hands anyway, so I'm just going to continue doing what I do best: rolling with the punches and having little (if any) plan at all. :)

Enter: Paperwork.

We met with Dr. Julseth again yesterday. It was significantly less awkward than last time, but I still don't think he knows quite what to make of us. I blame Graham for this.

This is what we have to accomplish before the end of the semester: study abroad application for Belmont (and $100 fee), study abroad application for CEA (The company we are going through. Add another $95 fee), apply for student visa, get a letter signed by: the dean of students, academic adviser, registrar, and one recommendation. Meet with someone to make sure the classes in Spain will transfer. Pay $500 deposit for CEA.

I am quite certain there is more that I am either forgetting or completely unaware of right now. It's Belmont. There have to be more hoops to jump through. However, I am so ridiculously excited that I will talk about it to anyone who will give me enough time to bring it up. So I don't really mind all the paperwork. Yet.

Matthew 18:20

The last 48 hours of my life have included the following, in order:

Tea, road trip, sketchy fireworks stand/gas station, a passing glimpse of the good ol' Jasper TN hospital, T-Wall, beautiful weather, leading my first 7 on trad (on which there was only one really terrifying moment) good pizza in Chatty, entirely too much snuggling and laughter in the backseat on the drive home. Church with friends, cooking and eating delicious Mexican food, sweet friends over for dinner, large amounts of laughter and storytelling, all ended with another mug of tea and a sweet conversation with my wonderful roommate.

There are a lot of things that I hope for in the next year. I hope that I get to work in Wyoming this summer, and that I get to study in Spain next semester. I hope that I get to go see all the places in Europe that I've been dreaming about. I hope for practical things like passing all of my classes and making enough money to pay all of my bills, one month at a time. I hope for big things like learning to love and follow Christ like my sweet friend Kaley, and that someday I am as wise as Sam, as free-spirited as Jacqui and as compassionate as Kate.

More than anything, though, I hope for days like these. Days where life is simple, and I can't stop smiling because there is so much to smile about. Moments when it's easy to believe that the heart of life is good, and I feel like my heart can take a rest from the storms that it endures the rest of the time. The moments when my head and my heart line up, and I know that I am loved.

I am reminded that God is good. I am reminded that it is not for me to pursue his plan, but his heart. My heart was given a rest when it much needed it, and I was taught what I much needed to learn. I know that these moments come along when I need them to, but not always when I want or expect them to. My hope, my prayer, for this next year's adventure is that I would not miss these moments. That I would not find myself too busy, too tired, or too distracted to take a moment and remember how very blessed I am.

"For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them."
Matthew 18:20

Park Güell

Gaudí was commissioned to build a city in 1900, and the Park Güell is what resulted. The project was abandoned in 1914, and the government of Barcelona bought the land to preserve as a park. Need I say more? Gaudí is kind of self explanatory:

There are so many things that I want to see while I am in Barcelona. This is at the top of the list, for sure. It reminds me of some kind of fairytale on acid. I kind of like it :)

Not to mention, getting in is free! Which is going to be of the utmost importance for the four months or so that I am gone. When I come back, I realize that I am going to be BROKE. And, (hopefully) totally, blissfully happy with a brand new worldview.
Donations to fund my European adventure are currently being accepted.

Update

I met with Dr. Julseth yesterday. He's in charge of the Spanish study abroad programs at Belmont. My friend Graham is going to study abroad with me if he can, so he came to the meeting with me. We stood outside Dr. Julseth's office for 10 minutes or so, waiting for the 4 o'clock meeting I had emailed him about a few days before. He didn't remember. We eventually went into his office, only to have him tell us we needed to reschedule for another time. That's fine, Dr. Julseth, whatever you say...

And then, he asked if I knew where I wanted to study. I said Madrid. He just looked at me. "Belmont's program is in Santiago. Belmont doesn't have a program in Madrid, you know." Ah, but Dr., I've done my research. You see, Belmont doesn't have a program in Madrid, but one of Belmont's affiliate programs does. I want to be in a big city, because part of my desire to go to Spain is so that I can see the rest of Europe too. And that's much cheaper and easier if I am already in Madrid, and not in a small town six hours away from Madrid, like Santiago. "Madrid is very internationalized. You're going to meet a lot of people from a lot of different places. You have to really work to find the Spaniards in Madrid." That's kind of what I'm looking for.... And I'm pretty sure I'm going to be able to track down some Spaniards, Dr. Julseth. It is Spain after all... "Have you ever been to a big city before? Like New York or Chicago?" I live in Saint Louis, I grew up going to Chicago. "There are a lot of pickpockets in Madrid, you're going to have to be careful. It's not like here in Nashville." Yes, I know. Thank you.

The conversation continued in such a manner for a few more minutes, before it concluded with "Well, bring the information on that other program because I'm not familiar with it, and we can talk about what you want to do next week."

See, I know that we just met, but there is something you need to know about me, Dr. Julseth. Try as hard as you might, you're not going to change my mind. About anything. I know what I want, and you may as well quit trying now.

My mother's reaction when I relayed this exchange to her? "Oh, God have mercy on that man if he thinks that's going to work!"

Want to know something else funny? Dr. Julseth didn't acknowledge Graham more than once. He looked at him and said "You're doing what she's doing?" at the beginning of the conversation, and then never even made eye contact with him again. Like the sidekick who is just along for the ride.

We meet again to begin paperwork and such next Wednesday.

Destination 1

Lauterbrunnen, Switzerland. I know, you've never heard of it. Neither had I. But a lot of time spent searching for places to visit in Europe resulted in me stumbling upon this:



Is this even real? I mean, seriously....

And yet, there it is. And I'm going. This is one of those non-negotiable parts of my trip to Europe. Here's my plan: classes don't start until September, so I want to fly out early and spend a few days camping in this little Swiss village, right under the north face of the Eiger.

Madrid

Simply because I am excited and have thought about little else the last few days, here is where I'm planning on studying.

And so it begins...

I have been toying with the idea of going to Spain for some time now. Well, maybe "toying" isn't the best word for it. I've always known I was going to study in Spain some time during my college career, but I kept going back and forth about when I wanted to go. As of yesterday, I decided.

I will be spending the fall semester of 2011 in Spain!

There you have it.

And so begins my long and paperwork-filled journey of even getting myself to Spain, let alone my adventures once I am abroad. But I wanted to document the process of getting myself to Spain, along with what happens while I am there next semester. Hence the early start to, and probably boring beginning of, the blog.