No Thanks

I have a philosophy in life: If there isn't a good reason to say "no," then you should say "yes."

Whether you agree or not, I tend to live my life this way anyway. I find myself saying, "why not?" a lot. And it leads to a lot of adventures. Some very unexpected. I love it.

I realized the one exception to this rule, though: relationships.

What made me realize this? I got asked out on a date last week.

Long story short, I was walking back from German class with a new found friend, talking about life and school, when he asks if I want to go out sometime. My first thought was, "I don't know you, and that wasn't very specific." But, I thought, give the guy a chance. Maybe he's just nervous. Who knows. Give 'em a shot. So I said sure, and gave him my phone number. My expectations were pretty much non-existent, however. And rightly so.

We have class together almost every day (German happens every day but Thursday, and we also have photography together twice a week.) So, I walk into German the next day and... nothing. He says nothing to me about asking me out the day before. I walk into photography later that night, where we sit right next to each other, and still nothing.

I had to laugh. I hadn't expected much in the first place, but I sometimes forget how "uncool" it is to be intentional. How a guy will wait a few days before asking a girl out so she doesn't think he's pushy or too interested. What a load of crap.

But, that's exactly what happened. I finally get a text three days later, asking if I'm busy tonight. I was alone, driving home to Saint Louis, and I literally laughed out loud. My response was something along the lines of "No thanks," and "You might not want to wait so long next time."

My boss thinks I'm crazy. Actually, her response when I told her this was, "Geez Ally. It's going to take an incredible guy to get you to say yes."

Well yeah it is. And I'm not sorry. I have no desire to be discouraging or anything, but I also won't sugarcoat or say yes when I am not being pursued the way I, as a daughter of God, should be. Which totally does not include being half-pursued and then ignored for three days :)

Mark Driscoll calls it Godly rudeness. That it's a good thing, because we women tend to be doors. We let everyone through who comes along and we let them into our lives and hearts. We are open to everyone. I've been there. I know what it feels like to be a door. You don't realize it when you're in the middle of it, but it sucks the life out of you. And makes it hard to realize just how good men can be, and just how you are supposed to be treated.

And then there are the women who are walls. You say no. With Godly rudeness. To everyone. Until the Lord tells you to say yes. I am learning to be a wall. But the big difference being, I'm learning to be a wall who is willing to say yes should God say so. Not a wall who blindly says no out of fear, but one who has pursued God's will and has found that the answer is still no.

That's a process. As always. But until I hear otherwise, the answer is still no.

For the sermon on this, that I think every girl (and guy, for that matter) should hear, check it out here: http://marshill.com/media/the-peasant-princess/i-was-a-wall